His Crazy Beautiful Plan

I haven't written this blog until this point, because I wasn't sure how to word what God has been doing in my life and how I have been feeling. I wasn't sure if people would understand, because to be honest, many times I don't even understand.

Over the past four years, Guatemala has overtaken my heart. It has, for many, become my identity. I don't remember the last time when I was introduced to someone without them saying something like, "This is Kathy, the missionary from Guatemala" or "This is my friend Kathy who lives in Guatemala." Guatemala has become a part of me, and I have given a part of myself to Guatemala.

For me, Guatemala was a place of seeing God's joy and love for his children. It was a place where I experienced hard times but was blessed by God's goodness.

After ending a serious relationship in June of this year, my heart hurt and was confused. Although I had peace about ending it, my heart was still not ok. I never came to Guatemala for this relationship, but I became dependent upon it. As a result, when it ended, I didn't know what to do or how to live in the place I called home for over a year. 

I very much felt like the foreigner that I was. 

How was I supposed to drive and get around? How was I supposed to be the primary contact for all the ministries? How was I supposed to talk in Spanish all the time and make sense to everyone? 

I came home for the month of July and to be honest, I dreaded returning to Guatemala. It was no longer a place of joy and love, but it was a place of hurt and brokenness for me. I didn't want to face that, but I knew I needed to. 

The first week I was back was incredibly strange. Strange because I was alone but incredible because I wasn't. God felt more real to me that week than He ever has in my life. I went to him for everything, and He showed up. He was incredibly faithful with not only allowing me to feel his presence, but also surrounding me with amazing friends and families that supported me, checked up on me, and were there for me. 

I dreaded coming back, but God has done incredible things over the last two months. I feel so blessed by my time here. I learned I was fully capable of driving here, being the primary contact for the ministries, talking in Spanish to whoever I needed to, and so much more. 

I was reminded that my identity is not found in a person or in a place, but in my Heavenly Father. He calls me capable. He calls me loved. He calls me his precious daughter.

In addition to working in me, God has done some amazing things in Puerto Barrios. 

We have been able to fund the completion of three classrooms at the special needs school (a project that has been going on for over two years). 

We have housed twenty-five missionaries over the last month and a half who were not only blessings to the people of Puerto Barrios, but were also blessings to me.

The mother-infant program I have dreamed about has come little by little into fruition. Fifteen pregnant/breastfeeding mothers are taking prenatal vitamins who live in and around the dump. They know I love them, and they come to me when their babies are sick. God has built some beautiful relationships through this dream.

We are working on starting a scholarship program for the kids by the dump, so they have the opportunity to go to middle school.

Guatemalans are uniting together for one common purpose: to love God's children, share his word, and help those in need. And this has been absolutely beautiful to see. I have been blessed to be a part of it.

So, you would think I would stay right? A foundation has been laid, programs are forming, relationships are building. I have worked hard for this. It's happening.

And yet, God tells me, it's time to go home for a time. A time longer than a little trip home. A time where I will actually have to unpack my suitcase. Just like the peace I felt when I ended the relationship in June, I have peace that only comes from the Father about returning home. I don't know how much time, but I know God's plan is always best, even when it doesn't make sense. 

But God's work in Puerto Barrios is nowhere near finished. Pure Joy Missions is not over. It's just beginning! God has brought a beautiful group of Guatemalans together, along with people from the US and Canada, that truly love this country and want to see God transform this city and its people. Even though I will not be here, the ministries that we do will continue and will grow. However, we need your support! We have plans of supporting Guatemalans to do missions full time, starting a scholarship program next school year, continuing with our weekly visits, and sharing the joy and love found in Christ. 

I know many of you have supported this mission because you know and love me personally, and I am so extremely grateful. But this is bigger than me. I am grateful that God has used me and will continue to use me, but this is not about me. I pray that God blesses you for the support you have given, and that you will continue to be a part of this mission not for me, but for God.

I am so excited to see what God has planned. One thing God has been speaking over me is that He will move mountains for his children. He loves them so much more than I ever could. 

After October 1,  I will not see my elderly friends or the beautiful children of Guatemala everyday, but I will bring them to the feet of their Father who loves and cares for them so much. And while I am home, I will be forming similar programs in the states, because the elderly and children of Pennsylvania need God's love just as much as his children in Guatemala.

Let's work together and continue to spread God's love and joy in our hometowns and abroad.

With love,

Kathy