His Crazy Beautiful Plan

I haven't written this blog until this point, because I wasn't sure how to word what God has been doing in my life and how I have been feeling. I wasn't sure if people would understand, because to be honest, many times I don't even understand.

Over the past four years, Guatemala has overtaken my heart. It has, for many, become my identity. I don't remember the last time when I was introduced to someone without them saying something like, "This is Kathy, the missionary from Guatemala" or "This is my friend Kathy who lives in Guatemala." Guatemala has become a part of me, and I have given a part of myself to Guatemala.

For me, Guatemala was a place of seeing God's joy and love for his children. It was a place where I experienced hard times but was blessed by God's goodness.

After ending a serious relationship in June of this year, my heart hurt and was confused. Although I had peace about ending it, my heart was still not ok. I never came to Guatemala for this relationship, but I became dependent upon it. As a result, when it ended, I didn't know what to do or how to live in the place I called home for over a year. 

I very much felt like the foreigner that I was. 

How was I supposed to drive and get around? How was I supposed to be the primary contact for all the ministries? How was I supposed to talk in Spanish all the time and make sense to everyone? 

I came home for the month of July and to be honest, I dreaded returning to Guatemala. It was no longer a place of joy and love, but it was a place of hurt and brokenness for me. I didn't want to face that, but I knew I needed to. 

The first week I was back was incredibly strange. Strange because I was alone but incredible because I wasn't. God felt more real to me that week than He ever has in my life. I went to him for everything, and He showed up. He was incredibly faithful with not only allowing me to feel his presence, but also surrounding me with amazing friends and families that supported me, checked up on me, and were there for me. 

I dreaded coming back, but God has done incredible things over the last two months. I feel so blessed by my time here. I learned I was fully capable of driving here, being the primary contact for the ministries, talking in Spanish to whoever I needed to, and so much more. 

I was reminded that my identity is not found in a person or in a place, but in my Heavenly Father. He calls me capable. He calls me loved. He calls me his precious daughter.

In addition to working in me, God has done some amazing things in Puerto Barrios. 

We have been able to fund the completion of three classrooms at the special needs school (a project that has been going on for over two years). 

We have housed twenty-five missionaries over the last month and a half who were not only blessings to the people of Puerto Barrios, but were also blessings to me.

The mother-infant program I have dreamed about has come little by little into fruition. Fifteen pregnant/breastfeeding mothers are taking prenatal vitamins who live in and around the dump. They know I love them, and they come to me when their babies are sick. God has built some beautiful relationships through this dream.

We are working on starting a scholarship program for the kids by the dump, so they have the opportunity to go to middle school.

Guatemalans are uniting together for one common purpose: to love God's children, share his word, and help those in need. And this has been absolutely beautiful to see. I have been blessed to be a part of it.

So, you would think I would stay right? A foundation has been laid, programs are forming, relationships are building. I have worked hard for this. It's happening.

And yet, God tells me, it's time to go home for a time. A time longer than a little trip home. A time where I will actually have to unpack my suitcase. Just like the peace I felt when I ended the relationship in June, I have peace that only comes from the Father about returning home. I don't know how much time, but I know God's plan is always best, even when it doesn't make sense. 

But God's work in Puerto Barrios is nowhere near finished. Pure Joy Missions is not over. It's just beginning! God has brought a beautiful group of Guatemalans together, along with people from the US and Canada, that truly love this country and want to see God transform this city and its people. Even though I will not be here, the ministries that we do will continue and will grow. However, we need your support! We have plans of supporting Guatemalans to do missions full time, starting a scholarship program next school year, continuing with our weekly visits, and sharing the joy and love found in Christ. 

I know many of you have supported this mission because you know and love me personally, and I am so extremely grateful. But this is bigger than me. I am grateful that God has used me and will continue to use me, but this is not about me. I pray that God blesses you for the support you have given, and that you will continue to be a part of this mission not for me, but for God.

I am so excited to see what God has planned. One thing God has been speaking over me is that He will move mountains for his children. He loves them so much more than I ever could. 

After October 1,  I will not see my elderly friends or the beautiful children of Guatemala everyday, but I will bring them to the feet of their Father who loves and cares for them so much. And while I am home, I will be forming similar programs in the states, because the elderly and children of Pennsylvania need God's love just as much as his children in Guatemala.

Let's work together and continue to spread God's love and joy in our hometowns and abroad.

With love,

Kathy 

"Choose a path, and don't look back."

After church last Sunday, I went for a drive to clear my mind and pray.

As I was driving, I made lots of turns and decisions. Some were forced decisions: no outlet, one-way, do not enter.

Others were unclear. Do I turn or go straight? Will I be missing out on something if I make the wrong move? Will I get lost?

Sometimes there are hints and clues- signs and familiar places- while other times you are completely in the dark, and you just have no idea. Neither way seems right and neither way seems wrong. You are forced to make a decision. 

Right, left, or straight?

You decide and question if it was the right move as you continue on your journey. But as you question and look back, you miss out on the opportunities right in front of you. You miss the blessings on your path. Were there blessing on the other path you didn't choose? Yes. But as long as you are on a path, ready and willing to serve, you will be blessed and be a blessing to others. 

Sometimes you'll go, go, and go and then reach a dead end. You feel like you did all that for nothing. But did you? Was it for nothing? 

Look at the journey you just went on. Look at the path. Was it the ending you expected? No.  But look at the blessings that resulted. A dead end doesn't mean failure. It just means a change in path. It means you are ready to do something new. It's God's way of saying, I need you elsewhere. Don't view this as a failure. 

Sometimes you'll be following a path with clear signs, and then the next moment, the signs are gone. No more direction. Things were going so well. You had a plan, you had seen signs, and then suddenly, it's all gone. Your plan no longer makes sense. You can either keep looking for your final destination, or you can look for a different path. 

The paths are endless opportunities.

Just don't forget the stop signs, yellow lights, and speed limits. They are there to keep you in place. They are there to protect you and guide you. Your Bible, wise counsel, and God's voice will be there. Continue to look to those as you choose one of the paths God has opened up for you.

There may be construction, dead ends, and U-turns, but God is in those. Look for the way out, look for the lesson, move forward, and don't regret what is behind you. 

So what does this mean in my life? Stop waiting at the stop sign and choose a path. Right, left, or straight? If you make wrong turns along the way, God will guide you to where you need to be and will use the path you are on to bless others and yourself.

Choose a path, and don't look back.

A Call to Love

 The needs are great. It is estimated that over 700 million people don’t have enough food everyday. Over one billion people have inadequate access to water. Worldwide, 2.2 million children die every year because they are not immunized, and 1.4 million die each year from lack of adequate sanitation and access to safe drinking water. Malaria is responsible for killing one million people each year. Forty million people are living with HIV/AIDS, and 15 million children are orphaned due to this disease.¹

These statistics are enough to make us angry, they are enough to make us upset, but are they enough to make us act? Oftentimes, that answer is no. But why?

For many of us, we are overwhelmed by the problems. We know that we cannot even begin to fix or solve the problems relating to poverty. We can’t feed 700 million people every day, and we can’t adopt 15 million children. We make ourselves think that we cannot do anything to solve these problems.

But the reality is that if you think that way, the Devil has you exactly where he wants you.

Let’s look at the life of Jesus. Jesus healed hundreds, if not thousands, of people when he was on earth, but they eventually died. Jesus fed the 5,000, but they were hungry the next day. And yet, He still did it. Why? Because His mission was to show His children His love for them.

I can’t feed all the hungry people in Puerto Barrios, not to mention all of Guatemala, or the entire world. Even if I do feed them one meal, they are going to be hungry again soon. In the past, I, at times, found myself feeling defeated and questioning why I even try. But then it hit me. My mission is not to solve all their problems, but point them in the direction of the One that can. My mission is to show them His love.

Jesus healed and fed people in order to show them His love. Of course it hurts Him to see His children in pain and hungry, but what hurts Him even more is knowing that they will spend eternity apart from Him.

God doesn’t call us to solve world poverty, but He does call us to love. That may lead to cooking a meal for a family that you know who is in need, that may lead you to call a friend who you know is having a difficult time, or that may lead you to donating to a non-profit organization.  Whatever it is, don’t be defeated or overwhelmed by the problem, but choose instead to love.

¹http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

Another goodbye

Oh the past two and a half weeks in Guatemala... They definitely were faith stretching, patience testing weeks, but filled with moments of joy. 

The trip had an eventful beginning with us nearly missing our connecting flight and then a 6 hour bus rise turned into a 10 hour bus ride once we got to Guatemala because of flooded roads. 

Then to make things even more eventful, I woke up with terrible pain on day 5 of the trip. After several hours of no relief, Jen took me to the ER. After the doctor took an ultrasound, he admitted me because my kidney was severely swollen. After the X-Ray, the specialist was called in because a kidney stone was causing an 100% blockage and surgery needed to be performed to remove the stone. 

After my hospital stay, I wasn't allowed to do anything for 5 days. The specialist left the night of my surgery for Guatemala City so knowing that no one would be available to fix me if I screwed something up kept me from doing much.  Plus for the first several days I needed to use the bathroom every 20 minutes which prevented me from going out of the house often. Stents are not fun!!!

Then after those 5 days, the doctor said I should "take it easy" and not run or lift things for 10 more days. 

But even though all these things happened and I was frustrated and hurting at times, there was no place that I would have rather been than Guatemala. And although this trip surely was not what I was expecting, many positive things did come out of it. 

For one, this time allowed me to strengthen the relationships with the kids and moms at the dump. The more time I spend with them, the more I understand their problems and how deeply they are rooted. The more I know about them, the better I am able to help and pray for them. Because in reality, some of these problems are so deep that there is absolutely nothing I can do to help. But God in all His wonder has the power to change things.

This trip was also filled with little blessings that I pray were encouragements to people. After praying, I came up with a list of 5 families that I knew were struggling. Bekah and I went to the grocery store and bought 2 carts full of food. We divided it and delivered them to the families. Seeing the look on their faces was such a blessing. They of course weren't expecting anything, but after looking into their eyes, you could tell the food was much needed. 

We went to the orphanage and spent time with the kids, reminding them that we have not forgotten about them and that we were praying for them often. 

One of my favorite days was when we went to the nursing home. We bought cake and yogurt and got all the residents together and just spent time talking. I also had some photos from the last trip that I handed out and the photos brought them so much joy. They thanked us so much for the visit.  You could tell it truly meant a lot to them. 

Although time and health issues prevented me from doing everything I wanted to do, I was able to prepare a lot of things for future teams such as coloring books and packs of crayons for the children's hospital. 

Good came out of this trip. There was no doubt frustrations and pain but even when I was laying in my hospital bed, God showed me the good and gave me peace.

Till next time, hasta luego Guat :) 

Building Relationships

It's hard for me to even begin writing a blog for this trip. I've had all the time in the world to write one, because I was supposed to rest for 5 days after my surgery, but every time I try to sit down and write one, I don't know what to write about.

My goal for this trip was to build and strengthen the relationships I have here. Now I never would have thought that a kidney stone and a stay at a hospital would be how I would accomplish that goal, but I can see how it did. I was blessed by lots of visits both inside and outside of the hospital and by prayers from people I don't even know, and for that I am very grateful.

It  has been really hard being here and not being able to do anything. I traveled all this way, and now I am forced to sit around in this house all day. It's hard, it's frustrating. But then I think of all the blessings I have had on this trip, and this trip really has accomplished my original goal for this trip: to build relationships.

Here's my Guatemala family!

Although I wasn't able to spend Christmas with them because of the surgery, I was still able to spend time with my hermanas (sisters).

My hermano (brother) also checked up on me often, what a good big brother does! :)

My Guatemala Family: Pastor Roni, Lubia, Abi, and Josue

Jen and Christian (and Gerson): the staff of Casa Verde and my best friends here!

And of course all the kids and families at the dump!

Although this trip wasn't what I was expecting, it definitely has strengthened my relationships with my Guatemala family and for that I am very grateful! 

One more week left :(

The Bliss of Brokenness

Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by all the little problems that keep arising, yet overwhelmed by the amount of support I have been receiving. Overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to get done before I leave (…while doing well on my finals…), yet overwhelmed by God’s goodness.

Although this overwhelming feeling makes me want to break down into either tears of joy or tears of sadness almost all the time, I am learning that this is the perfect place to be.

I have noticed that on every trip I’ve gone on, I have had a point of brokenness, a point where I simply could not handle everything. But these points are the times where I had to be completely dependent on God. All too often we are able to do it all on our own. We are completely independent, and look to God for guidance when we feel we need it.

Being completely dependent on God looks messy. For me, being completely dependent on God means crying out to Him every morning for strength and wisdom and praying earnestly to Him every hour of every day. Being completely dependent on God means that reading my Bible everyday is a necessity. And being completely dependent of God often means crying when my head hits the pillow at night.

Being completely dependent on God makes you feel vulnerable. But, you see, God desires us to be at this point, in this point of brokenness, because this point is where His glory can truly shine. This is the point where He can do more than we could ever ask or imagine. For at this point, although we feel weak, we are truly strong.

As I leave for Guatemala on Monday, I leave feeling a tad broken and a little frazzled. But if I had it all together, I know I wouldn’t be completely dependent on God. So although it is messy, there is no place I’d rather be. Please pray that Bekah and I would be safe in our travels, and that God will show us where and how we need to spend the time we have there. Thank you so much for your continued love and support!

What I really want for Christmas

 As Christmas approaches, I have been asked frequently, “What do you want for Christmas?” My response this year has been nothing. I don’t want or need anything. But as I think more about this question, there are some things that I actually do really want.

I want the kids at the dump to not have hunger pains. I want the babies at the dump to have enough nutrition in their diet to grow and thrive. I want the orphans to know that they are loved. I want the elderly at the nursing home to know they have not been forgotten. These are thing that my heart longs for. And these longings cannot be filled by presents underneath my Christmas tree.

We in America have grown up thinking that Christmas is presents underneath the Christmas tree. Christmas is Black Friday. Christmas is singing, it’s food, and it’s busyness. But that is not what Christmas is.

Christmas is the birth of our Heavenly Father, the Savior of the world, who spent His life giving to others. He poured Himself into others every day—He fed the hungry, He healed the sick, and He loved abundantly.

So this Christmas, I want to encourage you to spend less time focusing on the Americanized Christmas, and instead focus on what you can do to be a little more like your Heavenly Father. Whether you do that through me in Guatemala, through another organization, or through something in your own community, what matters is that you are doing it because that is what your Savior has asked you to do.

As I spend my first Christmas in Guatemala, I ask that you gather around me and support me-- that you pray that God’s love will pour out of me to the people of Guatemala, that I would see the people who are so hungry and in need of God and be able to help them, and that I would be able to help with their physical needs.

It’s hard for us to understand that what these kids really want for Christmas are full stomachs, not toys. They are hungry. They are hungry. I say it again because it’s hard for us to grasp this reality. I know you can’t see this hunger, but I praise God that I have supporters, so that when I see this hunger, I can do something about it. Although you may not be there, you are truly making a difference.

Ways to give- 

You can make general donation and I will use it wherever I see the need is the greatest, or you can check out below how you can give in honor of someone for a Christmas present! Perfect for those people whom you never know what to get for or never want anything!

  I will make and send cards to you to give to the person if you are interested in doing this!

Feed the babies at the dump for a week

A box of formula (20 bags) for the babies at the dump/ half box (10 bags)

$50/ $25

Provide clean water to the people working and/or living at the dump

2 weeks of clean water

$20

Food for a family at the dump

$20

Provide a special treat for the elderly at the nursing home!

They can’t afford to buy milk and they miss it so much!

$25

School/building supplies for the local schools
(Special needs school & school for kids whose parents work at the dump)

$10-$100

Needs at the orphanage

$10-$100

Coloring books and crayons for the kids at the Children's Hospital

$20

Upkeep and repairs at Casa Verde, the missionary house

Bless the ministry that makes all this possible

$10-$100

Please make checks out to Kathy Jacobs and give them to me in person or send to 8 Cardinal Drive, Milton PA 17847. If you want a card, please include a return address and which gift you'd like the card for.
Questions? email kathyjoyjacobs@gmail.com

Thank you!!